They Wouldn’t be Fights if We Both Agreed

We had a fight. It’s over now, so I can blog about it! I promised my wife I would never blog about our relationship while I was upset–rules and boundaries folks, rules and boundaries!
The crazy thing is, we spent 2 days arguing about it, and turns out we were arguing about 2 different things. I’ll give away my part of the ending because that’s not where the fun is. **Spoiler Alert!** I was upset because I told her that we already had 5 packs of tortillas and there was no need for me to get another one for dinner–she didn’t believe me and made me buy another pack, thus wasting $1.32!

Day 1

Now, if I start from the beginning, I’ll preface by saying this: I’ll be the second person to tell you my wife has horrible communication skills. Ironically enough, my wife would be the first to communicate that to you. It’s not her fault, she’s from Mexico and even speaking in her native tongue it’s bad, so adding English to the mix only makes it worse :-/

So it was this past Friday. It was bittersweet since it was pay-day but also the last day of my week-long vacation at home. I cleaned the apartment, took care of my daughter, the whole 9 yards. Point is, I knew what was and wasn’t in the apartment (more importantly, in the fridge). I’ll fast forward a bit until I cashed my check. We cashed it, went to Wal-Mart (I know, I’m trying to transition away from there) and we bought a rotisserie chicken (the reason we haven’t transitioned away!). After that, my wife–who has been working all week, told me to get a pack of tortillas. If you skipped the spoiler, you can do me a favor and just read that, it’ll save me the copy and past 🙂

So we get back in the car, and I ask her “Babe, do you need or want anything? Clothes, personal stuff, anything?” She said no. So we’re heading home, and I cut through a parking lot, raising suspicion. “Mike where are we going?” “You’ll see when we get there.” From that point on, the flame had started! I pulled up to a fitness equipment store. Before I got out of the car, I explained to my wife, “Baby, I’m not gonna get the videopress plugin for my blog right now since the computer is messed up, I was gonna get a 25lb kettlebell instead.” So in my mind, $60 plugin vs. $30 kettlebell, I’m saving $30! Nope. I bought the kettlebell and it was an awkward drive the rest of the way home.

When we got home, she just went into the house without saying a word. I grabbed the chicken, the tortillas, and my daughter from her car-seat. I simply didn’t get it, I saved $30 and was being awarded with the silent treatment. I had to ask, “Baby what’s wrong? Are you mad that I spent the money?” No answer. “Baby if it’s about the tortillas, I’m sorry, it’s just I already told you we already had 5 packs.” No answer. Twenty minutes of silence go by. Now, I don’t know what she was thinking, but I was thinking about this delicious chicken that was going cold!

She finally came over and asked if she could talk to me, my smart-aliky self said, “You can always talk to me!”. “I’m upset because you’re being sneaky, you didn’t even tell me you were going to get that, but you obviously planned it head of time.” I rebutted with, “You didn’t think I was being sneaky when I bought you flowers for Valentines Day!” “I’ts not the same.” I was lost! I told her it would be like her saying she is going to buy a $50 coat and then at the last minute saying never mind–she’s going to buy a $25 jacket instead. Why would I get upset about something like that? Now, myself personally, am a very logical person. I put emotions aside and deal with the facts. So to my audience, you’ll have to forgive me. There was definitely 15 minutes of her talking about past events and how nothing has changed, and that she feels the same as how she did way back then–I’m sorry, I stopped listening. I have no idea what she was talking about.

The bell rang and day 1 was over.

Day 2

After a long night on the couch and an even longer days work, I came home and asked if we were still arguing. I knew we were but needed a good transition into the previous day. It was so much simpler! She had enough time to get her thoughts in order and it was basically this: She was upset because she hadn’t done the budget. So even though I saved $30, she fact that there was another (or rather different) expense, set her off guard hence why she thought I was being sneaky. In my mind, no harm no foul, but I now understand where she was coming from. I apologized for saving money 🙂 , and then re-apologized for not being upfront with the expenses that I bring in. It was as simple as that! She asked me if we should go to marriage counseling to better communicate and my smart-ass replied, “Yea–definitely, if you think you need marriage counseling I have no problem with coming along to support you!” She gave me a slap on the arm signaling the fight was over.

It just goes to show that 1) I try to make a joke out of everything and 2) Just because you’re in sync with your spouse doesn’t mean you both think the same or even heal at the same rate. Our fight made us a stronger pair and I wouldn’t have changed anything about the way we handled it.

Do you often times fight with your spouse about things you simply don’t understand? Feel free to leave a comment down below and if you’re super awesome you can always follow me on my blog or on twitter.

As always,

-1modestman

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