They Wouldn’t be Fights if We Both Agreed

We had a fight. It’s over now, so I can blog about it! I promised my wife I would never blog about our relationship while I was upset–rules and boundaries folks, rules and boundaries! Continue reading


Husband 2.0

Being a husband is a lot different from how it used to be.

My dad rules his marriage with a stern demeanor; reining king of his monarchy.  I in no way dismiss this “old school” way of matrimony, quite the contrary.  I believe this method requires the utmost discipline and foresight–a sort of “there’s a method to my madness” mentality.

It’s just that in today’s world the wife is no longer the second in command. Furthermore,  ever since chivalry died, she’s been taken off of her pedestal, and there is a new focus on how a husband is supposed to raise a household.

Baby, there’s going to be times when we disagree, and no matter how much we talk it through we’re not going to see eye to eye.  When that happens, someone has to have the final say.  I promise you that it’s not always going to be me, but it’s not always going to be you either.

I remember saying those words to my wife in the earlier parts of our marriage.  It goes against human nature–and our social culture, to have two units in command:  We have one president, we’ve always had one teacher at a time, and since we are animals, every group (or pack) needs a pack leader.  In fact the only time we aren’t presented with one clear and definite leader is when we’re growing up, with 2 parents.

To digress, haven’t you noticed that kids that grow up with a dad and no mom usually lack sensitivity, or when given the opposite lack forcefulness?  I’m speaking in general of course, but it’s an odd paradigm: we live in a nation that abandoned the monarchy, yet our culture still revolves around the leadership of one.

So to come full circle, the role of today’s husband is not to put our wives just below us, nor is it to raise them on a pedestal.  As husbands our job–and it is a job, is for us  and our wives to be at each other’s side.  Living and breathing proof, that if our society demands just a single leader, then husbands and wives will become one, to act–and decide, as a sole entity.